The Adults Only Sex Page

"We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation..." Lily Tomlin

"Don't knock masturbation. It's having sex with someone I deeply love..." Woody Allen

Masturbation has historically been condemned by the Christian religion as one of the worst kind of sexual sins. Even today, many Christians (male and female) feel shame and guilt because of their inability to stop relieving themselves through masturbation. We see this even in some of the e-mails we get at FreeChristians.

So we say straight out that while masturbation is not something to be proud or boast about, it isn't anything to feel guilt or shame about either. It is just a normal (albeit private) biological function that became an easy target for puritanical religions like Christianity. The record of pious Christian pronouncements against masturbation is a record of stupid ignorance, to say the least: "The relative severity of the sin of masturbation differs between various sects, and especially between Protestants and Orthodox/Catholics. Protestants view masturbation as preferable to fornication because only one person is corrupted. The Catholic view is that masturbation is worse than fornication because there's no chance for conception to occur. Thomas Aquinas, a "church father," claimed masturbation is a sin worse than sex with one's own mother, which at least permits the possibility of conception"... (See: Uta Ranke-Heinemann, EUNUCHS FOR THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN: WOMEN, SEXUALITY, AND THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, Penguin Books, New York, 1991), page 311.)

The Church's obsession against sexuality even affected the medical discipline: "As even standard conservative reference works now recognize, "The history of professional and popular opinion about masturbation has been one of ignorance, pseudoscience, and hysteria" (R.E. Butman in Benner 1985:687-688). Actually, this considerably understates the case, because what we actually have is a long history of incredible cruelty and torture, culminating in the 19th century technical innovation (approved by the London medical establishment and condoned by a church tongue-tied in face of sexual sins long deemed "unspeakable") of surgically removing the clitoris of girls and adolesents to deny them the sexual pleasure of masturbation (as well as marital pleasure for the rest of their lives. The tragedy of neo-platonic sex-negative, pleasure-hating ideology is nowhere better illustrated than in this sorry chapter of church teaching" (see: Masturbation: loving self without neighbor? )

Clinical Psychologist Dr. Clay Tucker-Ladd laments: "If the young person going through puberty has never been told "it's okay or even healthy to masturbate," the implication is that such acts are too naughty for mom or dad to talk about. Indeed, many people still think masturbation is bad. For centuries the Catholic church has condemned masturbation as sinful; this church still calls it a "seriously disordered act" (sounds like a mental illness!). Twenty years ago about 50% of Americans actually said "masturbation is always wrong" (Levitt & Klassen, 1973). That's amazing! But that percentage may not have changed much. Surgeon-General Joyce Elders was fired, in part, because she advocated including information about masturbation in sex education courses. We must remember that only 60 years ago our society still believed the medical "science" of the mid-1800's, namely, that masturbation caused insanity, mental retardation, apathy, fatigue, poor memory, blindness, headaches, etc. No kidding! This negative attitude towards a wonderful aspect of the human body is a major problem. An innocent, harmless act which relieves sexual tension, helps control sexual impulses, increases sexual self-confidence, and provides great pleasure somehow becomes seen as negative or bad by 57% of female adolescents and 45% of male adolescents (Masters, Johnson & Kolodny, 1985). We are doing something wrong..." (see Masturbation)

But things are changing. Many Christian ministers are now removing masturbation from the list of sexual sins: "I urge all Christians to accept and embrace sex as a normal, God-given part of life, not a sin or something to be suppressed. And I urge all Christians to stop opposing masturbation as "a secret sin" and to accept it openly for what it truly is: a gift from God..." (See: "Does Sex Offend God?" by Rev. Bill McGinnis)

An anti-cult ministry says: "We 're not talking about masturbating in the streets. Any normal human practice and function can be abused. Human beings need to eat food to survive, but that wouldn't constitute a volunteer abusive way of eating that causes severe obesity. Human beings have waste but they would never defecate on the public sidewalk. Sexual intercourse is a normal human function, but common sense and morals tell us its wrong and hurtful to others to do this in public and in front of children... The bible speaks of the Israelite men having "nocturnal emissions," or in modern terms, "wet dreams." This is a normal human function of men just as a limited, discreet amount of masturbation is... Just as when a man and woman have sexual intercourse, masturbation has it's proper place and time. To label this normal human practice as "self abuse," is to throw a blanket condemnation, an example of legalism with interpretive ruling and man-made opinion that goes far beyond what's written in scripture and against the Spirit of God that internally leads us to mature growth in wisdom and charity... Balance, discretion and maturity are needed. In addition, guilt is normal when we do wrong and can be a good warning device of our minds to protect us for doing wrong things. However this same feeling of guilt can also be a very unbalanced and debilitating force that can destroy our very confidence in ourselves and faith in God. We must never let this feeling deter us from knowing without a doubt that God loves us, is not angry with us, never allowing ourselves to give up in open prayer and meditation with him..." (See: The Fundamentalist's Misuse of Sex )

As for the medical discipline, (having disentangled itself from religion) it now promotes masturbation as a healthy sexual behaviour (As Dr. Clay Tucker-Ladd of Mental Health Net puts it: "several highly respected authors have prescribed masturbation and even given detailed how-to instructions" see: Blank (1996) or Heiman, Lo Piccolo, & Lo Piccolo (1976). If you are a female, try Barbach (1975) or Blank (2000). If you are a seasoned practitioner, try Litten (1996). Older but still good references are Comfort (1972), Dodson (1974), Seaman (1972), Ellis (1974, 1988), and Smith, Ayres & Rubinstein (1973)...)

The outspoken editor of Scarleteen Heather Corinna says: "The next time anyone tells you that only losers masturbate, or that they don't, and never would, bear this in mind: according to most studies and surveys, about 95% of adults have masturbated or continue to do so. Were many falsehoods and misconceptions about masturbation true, it would mean that 95 out of every 100 people would be blind, desperate psychopaths with hair on their palms and shrunken genitals. I have yet, in my life, to even meet one person who meets that criteria. Masturbation is not bad for you physically, sexually or emotionally -- unless it is something you simply do not WANT to be doing -- and can be, in fact, good for you. It has been almost twenty years since the American Medical Association declared masturbation a normal and healthy sexual activity, and even then, it was long overdue..." (see: Is Masturbation Okay?)

Since masturbation involves only one person, it excludes the possibility to cause harm on others, thus, from the Jesus Ethics point of view, there is nothing wrong with masturbation. The only possible exception is the health factor, i.e. if excessive masturbation harms your health, you are harming yourself. There is no conclusive medical evidence on how much masturbation is too much masturbation. As far as medical science goes, someone can masturbate all day long without harming his or her health (see: "Will it make me go blind?"). At worst, "too much" masturbation, will cause exhaustion.

On the other hand (no pun intended...) doctors now claim that frequent masturbation can be beneficial for your health:

An Ejaculation a Day May Keep Prostate Cancer at Bay
Wed Jul 16,10:35 PM ET Health - Reuters
Frequent masturbation may be really good for you. Research by Australia's Cancer Council Victoria found that the more often men ejaculate between the ages of 20 and 50, the less likely they are to suffer the disease that kills more than half a million men each year. The survey of 1,079 prostate cancer (news - web sites) patients and 1,259 healthy men found that those who masturbated or had sex at least once a day in their 20s were a third less likely to develop the malady.

"For men in their 50s of course that's often not achievable," Graham Giles, who led the research team, told Reuters Thursday. "(But) masturbation isn't bad for you. I don't believe in the blindness and hairy palms theory. Prohibitions against ejaculations are not based on science," he said.

The study, conducted between 1994 and 1998 but still being analysed, did not focus specifically on masturbation. Nevertheless, it was the largest so far to ask participants not just about their sexual relations but also about masturbation, and to analyse the answers. Giles said the findings correlate with previous research that showed Roman Catholic priests were 30 percent more likely to get prostate cancer, but they contradict other studies that suggested having a variety of partners or frequent sex could lift the risk.

One theory that could explain the new results is that semen may have a carcinogenic effect on the cells lining the prostatic ducts if not flushed regularly out of the pipes by ejaculations.

So Christians who masturbate all day, have nothing to worry about as far as God or their health is concerned. They should worry however about the possible link between their obsession with masturbation and their religious upbringing (often, when sexuality is suppressed and forbidden, it comes back haunting people in the form of an "unquenchable fire")

Related to the "too much" argument is the "addiction" argument, which has its own problems. As world famous Sexologist Dr. Martin Klein puts it, the addiction model does not, and should not apply to non-violent sexual behaviour: "I am not interested in trashing 12-step programs. AA performs a great service every year in helping people handle their addiction to alcohol and other drugs. The question that has been put to us is, is the addiction model a good one for diagnosing sexual problems, and is the 12-step model a good one for treating sexual problems? And if it is, is it as appropriate for treating rapists as it is for people who masturbate more than they think they should?... People are now self-diagnosing as "sex addicts." They're also diagnosing their partners. Non-sexologist professionals such as ministers and doctors are diagnosing some of their clientele as sex addicts, too. As a result of these trends, many people who should be seeing therapists or sexologists are not. And many who don't need "treatment" are getting it."

The biggest problem with the addiction model is that it promotes the unhealthy mentality of powerlessness: "Step 1 of the traditional "12 steps" of all AA-type groups is "we admitted we were powerless over X (alcohol, our sexual impulses, etc.)..." Controlling our sexuality can be painful, not because we lack self-control or will power, but because sexual energy is powerful and demands expression. The primitive, infantile forces behind those demands often make sexuality feel like a matter of life and death--which, in the unconscious, it is..."

"Sex addicts" say they are "out of control," but this is just a metaphor--i.e., they feel out of control; controlling their impulses is very painful. We've all had that experience, with sex and with other things. Virtually everyone has the ability to choose how to control and express their sexual impulses (we'll discuss the small group who can't later). The concept of sexual addiction colludes with peoples' desire to shirk responsibility for their sexuality. But powerlessness is far too high a price to pay. It prevents helpful analysis by patients and therapists..."

"The concept of sexual addiction prevents any examination of the personality dynamics underlying sexual behavior. It prevents the assessment and treatment of sexual or personality problems, because identifying and dealing with the "addiction" is the goal. By encouraging people to "admit" that they are powerless, the concept of sexual addiction prevents people from examine how they come to feel powerless--and what they can do about that feeling. This careful examination, ultimately, is the source of personality growth and behavior change. The expression "That's my addiction talking" is creeping into the popular vocabulary. This translates into "don't confront or puncture my defenses."..." (See: Why There's No Such Thing as Sexual Addiction -- And Why It Really Matters by Marty Klein, Ph.D., Article #8 -- posted March 1998, © 2003)

Other than the possible health-based objections that are not against masturbation per se but against excessive masturbation, we are left with religious objections that are based on the renunciate paradigm (ie. carnal pleasure distances you from God, "it pollutes you", etc). Conservative objections to masturbation are mostly renunciate. These objections have been dealt with elsewhere.

It is time Christian ministers and preachers give up altogether the renunciate paradigm and adopt instead the Jesus Ethics paradigm, under which, normal human behaviour like masturbation can be seen for what it really is, NORMAL and HEALTHY.

I think enough has been said about this topic, and it is a shame on the behalf of the Christian religion that it did become a topic in the first place.